I currently work on a NodeJS/React project and apparently I’m going to have to start pasting “‘any’ is not an acceptable return or parameter type” into every damned PR because half the crazy kids who started programming in JavaScript don’t seem to get it.
For fucks sake, we have TypeScript for a reason. Use it!
The next day:
Product Owner: “We need to prevent the user from yeeting their keyboard across the room. This needs to happen within the current sprint.”
Dev Team: “Uhhhh… That’s not possible. How would we even do that?”
Product Owner: “How many more devs is it going to take to make it possible?”
Dev Team: “The number of Devs isn’t the issue here. This is more of a physics problem.”
Product Owner: “Great. Keep me updated on the progress and reach out to the scrum master with any blockers.”
Dev Team: Updating resumes in background
That asshole gets me every time.
God damnit! Who the fuck wrote this streaming pile of dog shit? Which ignorant fucktard has their head shoved so far up their ass that they would do something this stupid!?
Checks git blame
Ahhh fuck!
Motivation: AKA, Chronic Insomnia.
It will not surprise me at all if this becomes a thing. Advanced social engineering relies on extracting little bits of information at a time in order to form a complete picture while not arousing suspicion. This is how really bad cases of identity theft work as well. The identity thief gets one piece of info and leverages that to get another and another and before you know it they’re at the DMV convincing someone to give them a drivers license with your name and their picture on it.
They train AI models to screen for some types of fraud but at some point it seems like it could become an endless game of whack-a-mole.
Fancy title for the developer that gets yelled at when the CI pipeline is broken. Also a good chance they are the one that broke it.